Internet dating is a lot Meg "Picasso Face" Ryan...almost everything about it sounds and looks good in principle, but then you take a closer look:
And discover that everything is not as it should be...nor has it been for a long, long time.Recently, my journalistic instincts have gone into overdrive and I'm cooking up a non-fiction collection of essays modeled after Canada's own Jan Wong. In the spirit of an article I posted here a couple weeks back, I've joined Manhunt.net ... and I'm hoping to interview some fine local gentlemen now that I have a phone (the 6 week ordeal is over and that damn Richard Branson and his Virgin Mobile goons have made hundreds of dollars off my recent misfortune - damn them straight to Palm Springs!)
My favourite online "encounter" so far involved a one-word message (sent with requisite photo of headless torso) that said:
"Dam"
Dear reader: I laughed, I cried, I took a nap and when I woke up the sun was shining just so through the windows and a pidgeon cooing softly in the distance, I went for a walk, bought some humus, made a delicious sandwich and reflected on Petty and Vindictive 2007 and all the bitchy things I did that year whilst leaning against the balcony railing...and then it hit me a second time: what the fuck does 'Dam' mean?
Here's a site you will love. It's called Lurid Digs: Horrifying Gay Amateur Interiors. Think twice before you post that profile shot. People are judging you and you might just end up all over the internet. PS don't click on the above link if you don't like penises and/or nausalicious interior design. You've been warned.
Steve: I’m totally into this on four different levels, at least. First of all I think it’s phenomenal that Pandit was able to purchase all of the upholstery for his entire home from one massive bolt of fabric. The coordination we’re experiencing in this highly decorative interior is owing to that alone.
But the little details are what make this come together; things you don’t notice at first, like the tiny whimsical birdhouse behind our lover’s shoulder. Note how it has sprouted limbs and is frolicking about as if to say, “I’m here to ensure that every detail of your intercourse is going to be joyful and uplifting.”
Should we need intercession to our Lord, The Blessed Virgin Mary is present in the form of a comforting plaster figurine. In terms of Hell’s fury, there is no safer sex, my friends.
Also, I know some people are going to object to the bunny dolls on the sofa, but that’s because they’ve never had the pleasure of kinky sex with an nicely oiled gym adonis atop a pile of hand-sewn decorative rabbit plush. Let me just tell you that it’s something you’re going to want to do again and again.
File Under:For the hell of it | Suffocating Sofas
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