Homofication: Is Alexandre Despatie gay?

Before I go too deep into this entry, I would like to remind everyone that the Vancouver Queer Film Festival is still on and going strong. Tomorrow night I'm going for a back to back viewing at Cinemark Tinseltown (which, as far as names go, sounds like Hallmark met the Town Cinema under a Chirstmastree) - first for Mulligans at 7pm and then for Kiss the Bride for 9:30pm. These appear to be two of the more Hollywoodized enteries this year, which suits the Prim Reaper over here just fine. Here are the trailers:





Now on to hotter things...

I've been talking to a few friends about this one since Despatie won his silver medal on the 3m springboard. It's an interesting gay male phenomenon, one that is shared by one or two of my lesbian friends too and a whole airplane load of straight girls (who often believe that this is "just a phase" and or that "homosexuals, like unicorns and Stephen Harper, don't actually exist").

Anyway, when confronted with an attractive member of the same sex, I often find myself coming to the conclusion, in true Sherlock Homo fashion, that he is gay. Based on what facts you ask? Why sheer sex appeal of course. Clearly, if I am attracted to them, they must be homosexual. Sure there's some hope in there somewhere, but hope isn't sexy so who cares about that.

I believe this is a version of Gaydar, but not quite.

In case you've been dead in a cave for the past 15 years and suddenly found yourself ressurected in some sort of pink paradise, Gaydar is what straight people use to "detect" queers, whereas when gay meets gay, even for the first time, gaydar (like batteries) is not required.

Projecting homosexuality on people who you want to have sex with...that's not gaydar. It's one part fuck me eyes and one part wishful thinking. Wishfuck Eyedar? Eyegay Wishfuck? No no. That's just silly with far too many syllables for the masses.

So I'm going to settle this by coining the following, with the assistance of my friend C:

Homofication

And here's a dictionary entry that someone should send to the urban dictionary stat:

Homofication - slang, def: projecting homosexuality on people who you want to have sex with.

It's a bit like personification, except less to do with inanimate things, and more to do with people whose sexuality you don't know about.

Yet still, the question remains...is he or isn't he?

Verdict: I would like abstain judgement at this time and instead encourage the jury to read up on Rex Homo vs Greg Louganis.

And all this aside, congratulations Alexandre. I'm a huge fan.

If you don't know who I'm talking about, feast yer eyes on our great Quebecois hope, who has delivered at the Olympics, not once, but twice: